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:: Saturday, September 06, 2008 ::

Rorschach Toilet Blot Test

Green Eggs And Diarrhea
Originally uploaded by Kurt Christensen.

I'm ill. Or as one of my colleagues corrected, I'm sick. I came down with a fever last weekend. Shivering, sweating, chronic diarrhoea, all of that. No one else has caught it fortunately. So it's probably the result of something I ate or drank. Narrowing that down to things I had no one else did then it was either:
a) post work drinks last Friday
b) the glass of water I keep next to the bed at night that the cat likes to steal from me. I try to wash it when I know she's been at it but sometimes miss.
Basically, I've got cat's ass disease.

I had a couple of days of vomiting Lucozade out of my ass. Despite the fact they even write on the bottle "Lucozade is not suitable for replacing the fluid lost during diarrhoea." What sort of a reputation is that to have to try to live down! And why do I still buy it when I'm ill? It's psychosomatic now. Mentally Lucozade and diarrhoea go together in the same way Ealing comedies and "the sick bucketTM" do.

I had to take a couple of days off of work. Even after the pure liquid form I still had a couple of days where I had only reached the viscosity to be able to create Rorschach Shit Blot tests on the back of the pan.

Déviation du test de Rorschach
Originally uploaded by Dominiq.

After that it turned in satay sauce. At least at that point I had energy enough to work from home for the rest of the week. I still haven't progressed past that point though. Time for some more rehydration salts. I've lost over 3kg (half a stone). That takes me from Light Welterweight to Super Featherweigh. At least, it would if I were a boxer.

I'm off all of this week anyway. On staycation. I hadn't heard that phrase until yesterday. Apparently even Radio 4 have used it. I feel like I'm jumping on a bandwagon. I have therefore decided to stay one step ahead of the pack and am declaring it an ironic post-staycation. Hopefully the rest will allow me to shit the rest of it through.

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